Where is your mind right now?

Harvard research says it best: “A wandering mind is an unhappy mind.”

Their study of 3,500 people revealed that the average person spends 47% of their time not paying attention to what they are doing—and when we’re distracted, we’re significantly less happy.

Distraction, it turns out, is toxic for well-being.

The good news is that research shows our brains are adaptable; they can change through intentional practice. We can train ourselves to stay present, become more resilient, and better handle uncertainty. We can learn to be more compassionate with ourselves and others.

Through my 24 years of supporting others in growing their families and from my own personal experience living through the roller coaster of infertility, I know how strongly the mind is pulled to thinking about becoming pregnant. Left unchecked, the ruminating, trying to plan and control, worrying and obsessing can become all consuming.

If the same Harvard researchers studied the minds of people trying to conceive, don’t you think the results would show the time spent “elsewhere” is even higher than 47%?

Paying attention to what we’re doing is a powerful resource for well-being. Simple, but challenging—it’s so easy to be swept away in the currents of our own thought streams.

Here is a S.T.O.P practice to help gather our attention:
S top what you are doing
T ake 1-3 mindful breaths
O bserve mindfully
P roceed wisely and with kindness

Try it now. Take a brief pause and become aware of this in breath, this out breath. Observe your experience with kindness, acknowledging your senses, thoughts, and emotions. Then, continue forward with gentle compassion for yourself and others.